I’m going to be 25.
I keep telling myself this is ok. That all those things I thought I was going to be by now are on their way. That I’m not a failure. That I don’t suck. And that God doesn’t hate me.
Is any of this true? In my panicked state – NO IT’S NOT!
25? Fuck you 25! With your lowered auto insurance rates and new age bracket on surveys! What does 25 mean that the first four years of my 20’s didn’t? Why was I able to screw around and not make any plans and be on no path before RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND? Now I am an “adult” and am being yelled at for not adding to my 401K. I want to add to my SHUT THE HELL UP FUND is what I want to do.
No I don’t seemingly have the greatest job. No I do not have a significant other. And no I still do not want to stop calling her “Mommy.” But I do a damned good job at faking it, don't I?!
Who is to say that everything wonderful and fantastic won’t happen this year? Who is to say that maybe I’ll stop being *cute* and start being *serious* or stop spending my money on handbags and start buying Hummels or whatever old people buy? NO ONE.
I've done so much with these 25 years that sometimes it's hard to believe. And somehow it has added up to me being here and having nothing I expected to have and being no one I expected to be. So far.
In the middle of realizing how fun and exciting and UNIQUE the kind of life I was allowed to lead was - I just started expecting that at the end of it all I'd have all the things that money and passion can't buy. Like JLo's butt. (jkjk)
I guess that's not how it was supposed to go. Yet.
Let's see what happens, eh?
...and if I find a grey hair I’m sending you all to hell with me.
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I have found several grey hairs...even when I was still in high school. Grey hairs don't necessarily mean you're old ;D
ReplyDeleteI felt exactly the same way when I turned 25. Hell, I'm going to be 28 in a month and a half and I still feel the same way! I think this is pretty normally (at least I effin' HOPE so) for our generation. We are not our parents' generation, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteOh Rue I would have absolutely DIED. Are you sure it wasn't blonde hairs since you know we all went a little bit blonde once or twice between the ages of 12-20 ha!
ReplyDeleteWe are absolutely not our parents generation, T, but I think you're doing pretty well for yourself. And on your way and all that jazz.
ReplyDeleteyeah, seriously. i've started pulling grey hairs out already and i'm TWENTY THREE.
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